X
تبلیغات
مطالب انگلیسی_فارسی - بروزترین متون انگلیسی
آموزش زبان انگلیسی-مطالب علمی-داستانها-شعرها-آهنگها-smsها-جوک-ضرب المثلها و بروزترین متون انگلیسی

An elderly gentleman....

Had serious hearing problems for a number of years. He went to the doctor and the doctor was able to have him fitted for a set of hearing aids that allowed the gentleman to hear 100%
The elderly gentleman went back in a month to the doctor and the doctor said, 'Your hearing is perfect.. Your family must be really pleased that you can hear again.'
The gentleman replied, 'Oh, I haven't told my family yet.
I just sit around and listen to the conversations. I've changed my will three times!'

 

Two elderly gentlemen

 from a retirement center were sitting on a bench under a tree when one turns to the other and says: 'Slim, I'm 83 years old now and I'm just full of aches and pains. I know you're about my age. How do you feel?'
Slim says, 'I feel just like a newborn baby.'
'Really!? Like a newborn baby!?'
'Yep. No hair, no teeth, and I think I just wet my pants.'


+ نوشته شده در  شنبه بیست و نهم خرداد 1389ساعت   توسط olinda | 


Observation & Paying Attention


1st Year Students of MBBS were attending their 1st anatomy class.
 
They all gathered around the surgery table with a real dead dog.
 
The professor started the class by telling 2 important qualities as a doctor.
 
The 1st is that NEVER BE DISGUSTED REGARDING ANYTHING ABOUT BODY, & he
inserted his finger in dog's mouth & on drawing back tasted it in his own mouth.
 

Then he said them to do the same. The students hesitated for several minutes, but eventually everyone inserted their fingers in dog's mouth & then tasted it.
 
When everyone finished, the Professor looked at them and said: THE MOST
IMPORTANT 2ND QUALITY IS OBSERVATION, I INSERTED MY MIDDLE FINGER BUT
TASTED THE INDEX FINGER, NOW LEARN TO PAY ATTENTION.
 
Moral: Life is tough, but it's a lot tougher when you are not paying attention


+ نوشته شده در  پنجشنبه دوم اردیبهشت 1389ساعت   توسط olinda | 


About Wife and Husband




+ نوشته شده در  شنبه چهاردهم فروردین 1389ساعت   توسط olinda | 

O x y m o r o n s

An oxymoron is usually defined as “A phrase in which two words have contradictory

meaning” are brought together:-


1) Clearly misunderstood

2) Exact Estimate

3) Small Crowd

4) Act Naturally

5) Found Missing

6) Fully Empty

7) Pretty ugly

8) Seriously funny

9) Only choice

10) Original copies


And Finally..... ..
.

 

 

 


.
.
.
.
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 

 
11) Happily Married


+ نوشته شده در  چهارشنبه بیست و یکم بهمن 1388ساعت   توسط olinda | 

O x y m o r o n s


                       ؟! If work is so terrific, why do they have to pay you to do it-

 

                       ؟! --If all the world is a stage, where is the audience sitting

                        ؟! If love is blind, why is lingerie so popular---

 

                        ؟! If you are cross-eyed and have dyslexia, can you read all right----

 

                        ؟!-----Why is bra singular and panties plural

 

                       ؟! ------Why do you press harder on the buttons of a remote control

 

                       ؟! ------when you know the batteries are dead

 

                        ؟! -------Why do we put suits in garment bags and garments in a suitcase

 

                        ؟! --------How come abbreviated is such a long word

 

                        ؟! Why do we wash bath towels? Aren't we clean when we use them--------

 

                       ؟! ---------Why doesn't glue stick to the inside of the bottle

 

                        ؟!----------Why do they call it a TV set when you only have one

 

                      ؟!  ------------Christmas - What other time of the year do you sit in front of a dead tree and eat candy out of your socks?

 

                        ؟!  Why do we drive on a parkway and park on a driveway --------------

 

                     ؟!   ----------------I dunno, why do we

+ نوشته شده در  سه شنبه بیستم بهمن 1388ساعت   توسط olinda | 

 

O x y m o r o n s

                        

                       ! ؟ Is it good if a vacuum really sucks-

 

                        Why is the third hand on the watch called the second hand--

 

                       If a word is misspelled in the dictionary, how would we ever know---

 

                        ؟! If Webster wrote the first dictionary, where did he find the words----

 

                     ؟! Why do we say something is out of whack? What is a whack-----

 

                    ؟! Why does "slow down" and "slow up" mean the same thing------

 

                 ؟!  Why does "fat chance" and "slim chance" mean the same thing------

 

                      ؟!   Why do "tug" boats push their barges--------

 

                     ؟! Why do we sing "Take me out to the ball game"---------

 

                        ؟!when we are already there-----------

 

                        ؟!Why are they called " stands" when they are made for sitting----------

 

                      ؟! Why is it called "after dark" when it really is "after light"--------------

 

                     ----------------Doesn't "expecting the unexpected" make the unexpected expected؟!

 

                    ؟! ------------------Why are a "wise man" and a "wise guy" opposites

 

                   ؟! Why do "overlook" and "oversee" mean opposite things--------------------

 

                       ؟! Why is "phonics" not spelled the way it sounds----------------------

ادامه دارد...

+ نوشته شده در  شنبه هفدهم بهمن 1388ساعت   توسط olinda | 

Hosted by imgur.com

بهشت جائیست که: پلیس از انگلستان,سر آشپز از ایتالیا, علم مکانیک از آلمان و عاشق و معشوقه از فرانسه باشه و همهء اینها توسط سوئیس سازماندهی بشوند!

و جهنم جائیست که :پلیس از آلمان ,سر آشپز از انگلستان , علم مکانیک از فرانسه و عاشق و معشوقه از سوئیس باشه و همهء اینها توسط ایتالیا سازماندهی بشوند!!


funkydunk

Hosted by imgur.com

something that people are more addicted to stick on with and this one made it to stick on him for hours together

+ نوشته شده در  چهارشنبه هفتم بهمن 1388ساعت   توسط olinda | 

 Apparently, true examples of a selection of answers to the given questions!

 

UNIVERSITY CHALLENGE (BBC2)

Jeremy Paxman:

What is another name for 'cherry pickers' and 'cheesemongers'?

Contestant:

Homosexuals.

Jeremy Paxman:

No. They're regiments in the British Army who will be very upset with you

 


BEG, BORROW OR STEAL (BBC2)

Jamie Theakston:

Where do you think  Cambridge  University is?

Contestant:

Geography isn't my strong point.

Jamie Theakston:

There's a clue in the title.

Contestant:

Leicester

 


BBC NORFOLK

Stewart White:

Who had a worldwide hit with What A Wonderful World?

Contestant:

I don't know.

Stewart White:

I'll give you some clues: what do you call the part between your hand and your elbow?

Contestant:

Arm

Stewart White:

Correct. And if you're not weak, you're...?

Contestant:

Strong..

Stewart White:

Correct - and what was Lord Mountbatten's first name?

Contestant:

Louis

Stewart White:

Well, there we are then.. So who had a worldwide hit with the song What A Wonderful World?

Contestant:

Frank Sinatra?

 

LATE SHOW (BBC  MIDLANDS)

Alex Trelinski:

What is the capital of Italy ?

Contestant:

France.

Trelinski:

France is another country. Try again.

Contestant:

Oh, um, Benidorm.

Trelinski:

Wrong, sorry, let's try another question. In which country is the Parthenon?

Contestant:

Sorry, I don't know.

Trelinski:

Just guess a country then.

Contestant:

Paris.


 

THE WEAKEST LINK (BBC2)

Anne Robinson:

Oscar Wilde, Adolf Hitler and Jeffrey Archer have all written books about their experiences in what: - Prison, or the Conservative Party?

Contestant:

The Conservative Party.

 

BEACON RADIO ( WOLVERHAMPTON )

DJ Mark:

For 10, what is the nationality of the Pope?

Ruth from Rowley Regis:

I think I know that one. Is it Jewish?


 

UNIVERSITY CHALLENGE

Bamber Gascoyne:

What was Gandhi's first name?

Contestant:

Goosey?

 

GWR FM ( Bristol )

Presenter:

What happened in Dallas on November 22, 1963?

Contestant:

I don't know, I wasn't watching it then.


 

PHIL WOOD SHOW (BBC RADIO?  MANCHESTER)

Phil:

What's 11 squared?

Contestant:

I don't know.

Phil:

I'll give you a clue. It's two ones with a two in the middle.

Contestant:

Is it five?

 

RICHARD AND JUDY

Richard:

Which American actor is married to Nicole Kidman?

Contestant:

Forrest Gump.


 

RICHARD AND JUDY

Richard:

On which street did Sherlock Holmes live?

Contestant:

Er. ... ..

Richard:

He makes bread . . .

Contestant:

Er .. .....

Richard:

He makes cakes . . .

Contestant:

Kipling Street?


 

LINCS FM PHONE-IN

Presenter:

Which is the largest Spanish-speaking country in the world?

Contestant:

Barcelona.

Presenter:

I was really after the name of a country.

Contestant:

I'm sorry, I don't know the names of any countries in Spain .



 

NATIONAL LOTTERY (BBC1)

Question:

What is the world's largest continent?

Contestant:

The Pacific.



 

ROCK FM ( PRESTON )

Presenter:

Name a film starring Bob Hoskins that is also the name of a famous painting by Leonardo da Vinci.

Contestant:

Who Framed Roger Rabbit?



 

THE BIGGEST GAME IN TOWN (ITV)

Steve Le Fevre:

What was signed, to bring World War I to an end in 1918?

Contestant:

Magna Carta?



 

JAMES O'BRIEN SHOW (LBC)

James O'Brien:

How many kings of England have been called Henry?

Contestant:

Er, well, I know there was a Henry the Eighth ... ER. ER ... Three?



 


CHRIS SEARLE SHOW (BBC RADIO BRISTOL )

Chris Searle:

In which European country is Mount Etna ?

Caller:

Japan.

Chris Searle:

I did say which European country, so in case you didn't hear that, I can let you try again.

Caller:

Er ........ Mexico ?



 

PAUL WAPPAT (BBC RADIO NEWCASTLE )

Paul Wappat:

How long did the Six-Day War between Egypt and Israel last?

Contestant (long pause):

Fourteen days.



 

DARYL DENHAM'S DRIVETIME (VIRGIN RADIO)

Daryl Denham:

In which country would you spend shekels?

Contestant:

Holland?

Daryl Denham:

Try the next letter of the alphabet.

Contestant:

Iceland? Ireland ?

Daryl Denham: (helpfully)

It's a bad line. Did you say Israel ?

Contestant:

No.



 

PHIL WOOD SHOW (BBC GMR)

Phil Wood:

What 'K' could be described as the Islamic Bible?

Contestant:

Er... .... ..

Phil Wood:

It's got two syllables . . . Kor . .

Contestant:

Blimey?

Phil Wood:

Ha ha ha ha, no. The past participle of run . . .

Contestant:

(Silence)

Phil Wood:

OK, try it another way. Today I run, yesterday I . . .

Contestant:

Walked?



 

THE VAULT

Melanie Sykes:

What is the name given to the condition where the sufferer can fall asleep at any time?

Contestant:

Nostalgia.



 

LUNCHTIME SHOW (BRMB)

Presenter:

What religion was Guy Fawkes?

Contestant:

Jewish.

Presenter:

That's close enough.



 

STEVE WRIGHT IN THE AFTERNOON (BBC RADIO 2)

Wright:

Johnny Weissmuller died on this day. Which jungle-swinging character clad only in a loin cloth did he play?

Contestant:

Jesus.

 

+ نوشته شده در  شنبه سی ام آبان 1388ساعت   توسط olinda | 

Free Image Hosting


Free Image Hosting



Free Image Hosting

Free Image Hosting


Free Image Hosting


Free Image Hosting

Free Image Hosting

Free Image Hosting



Free Image Hosting


Free Image Hosting

+ نوشته شده در  دوشنبه بیست و پنجم آبان 1388ساعت   توسط olinda | 


Once upon a time in China , a girl named Li-Li got married & went to live
with her husband and mother-in-law.
In a very short time, Li-Li found that she couldn't get along with her mother-in-law at all. Their personalities were very different, and Li-Li was angered by many of her mother-in-law's habits. In addition, she criticized Li-Li constantly.
Days passed, and weeks passed. Li-Li and her mother-in-law never stopped arguing and fighting. But what made the situation even worse was that,
according to ancient Chinese tradition, Li-Li had to bow to her mother-in-law and obey her every wish. All the anger and unhappiness in the house was causing Li-Li's poor husband great distress.

Finally, Li-Li could not stand her mother-in-law's bad temper and dictatorship any longer, and she decided to do something about it. Li-Li went to see her father's good friend, Mr. Huang,             
who sold herbs. She told him the situation and asked if he would give her some poison so that she could solve the problem once and for all.

Mr. Huang thought for awhile, and finally said, "Li-iL, I will help you solve your problem, but you must listen to me and obey what I tell you."

Li-Li said,"Yes, Mr. Huang, I will do whatever you tell me to do. "Mr. Huang went into the back room, and returned in a few minutes with a package of herbs. He told Li-Li, "You can't use a quick-acting poison to get rid of your mother-in-law, because that would cause people to become suspicious. Therefore, I have given you a number of herbs that will slowly build up poison in her body. Every other day prepare some delicious meal and put a little of these herbs in her serving. Now, in order to make sure that nobody suspect you, when she dies, you must be very careful to act very friendly towards her. "Don't argue with her, obey her every wish, and treat her like a queen." Li-Li was so happy. She thanked Mr. Huang and hurried home to start her plot of murdering her mother-in-law.
Weeks went by, and months went by, and every other day, Li-Li served the specially treated food to her mother-in-law. She remembered what Mr. Huang had said about avoiding suspicion, so she controlled her temper, obeyed her mother-in-law, and treated her like her own mother.

After six months had passed, the whole household had changed. Li-Li had practiced controlling her temper so much that she found that she almost
never got mad or upset. She hadn't had an argument with her mother-in-law in six months because she now seemed much kinder and easier to get along with.

The mother-in-law's attitude toward Li-Li changed, and she began to love Li-Li like her own daughter. She kept telling friends and relatives that Li-Li was the best daughter-in-law one could ever find. Li-Li and her mother-in-law were now treating each other like a real mother and daughter. Li-Li's husband was very happy to see what was happening.
One day, Li-Li came to see Mr. Huang and asked for his help again She said, "Dear Mr. Huang, please help me to keep off the poison from killing my mother-in-law. She's changed into such a nice woman, and I love her like my own mother. I do not want her to die because of the poison I gave her."

Mr. Huang smiled and nodded his head. "Li-Li, there's nothing to worry about. I never gave you any poison. The herbs I gave you were vitamins to
improve her health. The only poison was in your mind and your attitude toward her, but that has been all washed away by the love which you gave to her."

HAVE YOU REALIZED that how you treat others is exactly how they will treat you? There is a wise Chinese saying: "The person who loves others will also be loved in return." God might be trying to work in another person's life through you.
 
+ نوشته شده در  دوشنبه چهارم آبان 1388ساعت   توسط olinda | 


These are from a book called Disorder in the Courts of America , and are things  attorneys actually said in court, word for word, taken down and now published by court reporters ,who  had to suffer from the torment of staying calm while these exchanges  were actually taking place.
 

ATTORNEY:    Now  doctor, isn't it true that when a                 person dies in his sleep, he doesn't know
                 about it until the next morning?
WITNESS:     Did you actually pass the bar exam?

________________________________________

ATTORNEY:    Were  you present when your picture was
              taken?
WITNESS:      Would you repeat the  question?

______________________________________

ATTORNEY:      She had three children,  right?
WITNESS:        Yes.
ATTORNEY:      How many were  boys?
WITNESS:        None.
ATTORNEY:      Were  there any  girls?
______________________________________

ATTORNEY:    How  was your first marriage terminated?
WITNESS:      By  death.
ATTORNEY:    And by whose death was it  terminated?
______________________________________

ATTORNEY:      Can you describe the  individual?
WITNESS:        He was about medium height and had
                a beard.
ATTORNEY:   &! nbsp; Was  this a male or a  female?
______________________________________                                                                            

ATTORNEY:    Do  you recall the time that you
              examined  the body?
WITNESS:      The  autopsy started around
8:30 p.m.
ATTORNEY:    And  Mr. Denton was dead at the time?
WITNESS:      No, he was sitting on the table wondering
                  why I was doing an autopsy on him!
 ______________________________________


ATTORNEY:   Doctor, before you performed the autopsy, did you check for a  pulse?
WITNESS:     No.
ATTORNEY:   Did  you check for blood pressure?
WITNESS:     No.
ATTORNEY:   Did you check for breathing?
WITNESS:     No.
ATTORNEY:   So, then it is possible that the patient was alive when you began the autopsy?
WITNESS:     No.
ATTORNEY:   How can you be so sure,  Doctor?
WITNESS:     Because his brain was sitting on my  desk in a jar.
ATTORNEY:    But could the patient have still been  alive, nevertheless?
WITNESS:     Yes, it is possible that he could have been alive and practising law.

WITNESS:شاهد
ATTORNEY:دادستان

Courts: دادگاه
AUTOPSY:کالبدشکافی
Bar exam:دورهء وکالت
+ نوشته شده در  دوشنبه بیست و هفتم مهر 1388ساعت   توسط olinda | 


 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
+ نوشته شده در  چهارشنبه پانزدهم مهر 1388ساعت   توسط olinda | 

General Knowledge


We know that there are 7 special facts :
- 7 days in a week
- 7 colors in rainbow
- 7 layers of heavens
- 7 continents in the world
- 7 oceans in the world
- 7 orbits in an atom
- 7 layers of the earth
MATHEMATICS
1* 7 + 3 =10
14* 7 + 2 =100
142* 7 + 6 =1000
1428* 7 + 4 =10000
14285* 7 + 5 =100000
142857* 7 + 1 =1000000
1428571* 7 + 3 =10000000
14285714* 7 + 2 =100000000
142857142* 7 + 6 =1000000000
1428571428* 7 + 4 =10000000000

BIOLOGY
Most Mammals’ neck has 7 bones.
The no. of opening into the human’s head is :
mouth , 2 eyes , 2 ears , 2 nostrils .
CHEMISTRY
The most abundant gas on earth,
NITROGEN, has atomic No. 7
There are 7 Rows in the periodic table
The HALOGEN are found in group 7
The PH of pure water is 7

PHYSICS
There are 7st Base units:
Meter, Kilogram, Second, Kelvin, Mole and Candela
There are 7 colors in the visible light:
red, yellow, green, blue, indigo, violet
The atmosphere consists of 7layers:
Troposphere, Stratosphere, Ozonosphere, Mesosphere, Thermosphere, Ionosphere, Exosphere
ASTRONOMY
There are 7 visible ( to the naked eye ) STELLER OBJICTS:
Sun, Moon, Mercury, Mars, Jupitar, Venus, and Saturn

 منبع:zabihjavanbakht.blogfa

+ نوشته شده در  پنجشنبه بیست و دوم مرداد 1388ساعت   توسط olinda | 

 

Tax Structure in India .... Funny But True...

 

Question 1.. : What are you doing?
Ans. : Business.
Tax : PAY PROFESSIONAL TAX!


Question 2 : What are you doing in Business?
Ans. : Selling the Goods.
Tax : PAY SALES TAX!!

Question 3 : From where are you getting Goods?
Ans. : From other State/Abroad
Tax : PAY CENTRAL SALES TAX, CUSTOM DUTY & OCTROI

Question 4 : What are you getting in Selling Goods?
Ans. : Profit.
Tax : PAY INCOME TAX!

Question 5: How do you distribute profit ?
Ans : By way of dividend
Tax : PAY DIVIDEND DISTRIBUTION TAX

Question 6 : Where you Manufacturing the Goods?
Ans. : Factory...
Tax : PAY EXCISE DUTY!

Question 7 : Do you have Office / Warehouse / Factory?
Ans. : Yes
Tax : PAY MUNICIPAL & FIRE TAX!

Question 8 : Do you have Staff?
Ans. : Yes
Tax : PAY STAFF PROFESSIONAL TAX!

Question 9 : Doing business in Millions?
Ans. : Yes  -- Tax : PAY TURNOVER TAX! Ans : No -- Tax : Then pay Minimum Alternate Tax

Question 10 : Are you taking out over 25,000 Cash from Bank?
Ans. : Yes, for Salary.
Tax : PAY CASH HANDLING TAX!

Question 11 : Where are you taking your client for Lunch & Dinner?
Ans. : Hotel
Tax : PAY FOOD & ENTERTAINMENT TAX!

Question 13 : Have you taken or given any Service / (s)?
Ans. : Yes
Tax : PAY SERVICE TAX!

Question 14 : How come you got such a Big Amount?
Ans. : Gift on birthday.
Tax : PAY GIFT TAX!

Question 15.: Do you have any Wealth?
Ans. : Yes
Tax : PAY WEALTH TAX!

Question 16 : To reduce Tension, for entertainment, where are you going?
Ans. : Cinema or Resort.
Tax : PAY ENTERTAINMENT TAX!

Question 17 : Have you purchased House?
Ans. : Yes
Tax : PAY STAMP DUTY & REGISTRATION FEE !

Question 18 : How you Travel?
Ans. : Bus
Tax : PAY SURCHARGE!

Question 19.: Any Additional Tax?
Ans. : Yes
Tax : PAY EDUCATIONAL, ADDITIONAL EDUCATIONAL & SURCHARGE ON ALL THE CENTRAL GOVT.'s TAX !!!


Question 20: Delayed any time Paying Any Tax?
Ans. : Yes
Tax : PAY INTEREST & PENALTY!

21) INDIAN : Can I die now??
Ans :: Wait we are about to launch the funeral tax !!!

 

+ نوشته شده در  دوشنبه نوزدهم مرداد 1388ساعت   توسط olinda | 


Total Solar Eclipse of 2009 July 22



GiGaImage.com Free Image Hosting , Upload Your Image For Free


ادامه مطلب
+ نوشته شده در  دوشنبه بیست و نهم تیر 1388ساعت   توسط olinda | 
نامهء خانم به شوهرش

Dear Husband,

شوهر عزیزم,


I'm writing you this letter to tell you that I'm leaving you forever.

من این نامه رو برات نوشتم که بهت بگم من تورا برای همیشه ترک می کنم.


I've been a good woman to you for seven years and I have nothing to
show for it. These last two weeks have been hell. Your boss called to

tell me that you quit your job today and that was the last straw.
تو این 7 سال من زن خوبی برات بودم و برات ابراز نکرده بودم .این دو هفته اخیر برا من عین جهنم شده است .
رئیست تو تلفن بهم گفت که تو کارت را امروز ول کرده ای دیگه کاسهء صبرم لبریز شده است.


Last week, you came home and didn't even notice that I had a new
haircut, had cooked your favorite meal and even wore a brand new pair
of lingerie. You ate in two minutes, and went straight to sleep after

watching all of your shows..
هفته گذشته وقتی اومدی خونه اصلا توجه نکردی که من موهام رو کوتاه کرده بودم و غذای مورد علاقه ات رو درست کرده بودم و همچنین یک لباس زیر ست مارک دار پوشیده بودم .تو غذایت را تو 2 دقیقه خوردی و بعد از تماشا کردن  همه شوهایت مستقیما  به خواب رفتی.


You don't tell me you love me anymore; you don't want sex or anything
that connects us as husband and wife.. Either you're cheating on me or

you don't love me anymore; whatever the case, I'm gone
تو اصلا بهم نگفتی که دوستم داری و تو س.ک.س و هیچ چیز دیگه ای که بتونه ما رو مثل یک زن و شوهر به هم نزدیک کنه ازم نخواستی !
بهر حال یا تو تا حالا مرا گول زده بودی یا هیچوقت مرا دوست نداشتی! بخاطر همین من رفته ام.


Signed,
امضا

Your EX-wifeزن قبلیت

P.S : Don't try to find me... Your BROTHER and I are moving away to
Spain together! Have a great life!

پی نوشت:برا پیدا کردن من تلاش نکن .........برادرت و من با هم تو راه اسپانیا هستیم! زندگی خوبی داشته باشی.

پی نوشت من: جواب شوهر به نامهء زنش  را در قسمت دوم  پست خواهم کرد  که جالب هم هست!


+ نوشته شده در  دوشنبه بیست و دوم تیر 1388ساعت   توسط olinda | 

CISCO: کوتاه شده از San Francisco.

Google: گوگل به معنی عدد ۱ که ۱۰۰صفر جلوی آن باشد است. موسسین گوگل بخاطر نشان دادن گستردگی صفحاتی که گوگل آنها را جستجو می‌کند این نام را انتخاب کردند.

Apple: چون وقت بیشتری نداشتند قرار بوده تا ساعت ۵ عصر بهترین نام پیشنهادی برای شرکت انتخاب شود اما هیچ کس نامی پیشنهاد نکرد و Steve Jobs طبق معمول در حال خوردن میوه‌ی مورد علاقه‌اش سیب بود و قرار شد نام Apple به معنی سیب را بر روی شرکت بگذارند.

Hot Mail: کسانی که نام این سرویس را انتخاب کردند دنبال یک نام زیبا می‌گشتند که آخر آن Mail داشته باشد و در آخر HotMail را انتخاب کردند چون هم زیبا بود و هم حروف HTML که نام زبان برنامه‌نویسی صفحات وب است در آن بود.

HP: دو حروف اول نام خانوادگی موسسین آن Bill Hewlett و Dave Packard آنها برای اینکه ببیند نام شرکتشان را HP بگذارند یا PH شیر یا خط کردند!

Microsoft: برگرفته از اول دو کلمه‌ی Microcomputer Software که ابتدا Micro-Soft بود و خط فاصله‌ی آن بعدآ حذف شد.

RedHat: پدر بزرگ Marc Ewing موسس RedHat (به معنی کلاه قرمز) یک کلاه قرمز با خط های سفید به او یادگاری داده بود ولی او گمش کرد و هرچقدر هم گشت پیدایش نکرد به همین دلیل اسم این پروژه‌ی کاریش را RedHat گذاشت و در قسمتی از راهنمای آن نیز از کاربرانش خواسته اگر کلاه قرمز او را پیدا کردند به او برش گردانند.

Apache: موسس آپاچی شروع به تصحیح (Patch) کد های NCSA httpd daemon کرده بود و نتیجه یک سرور وصله پینه زده (Patchy) شده بود پس نام آن را Apache گذاشت (A patchy server)

SUN: این شرکت توسط ۴ دوست هم دانشگاهی در دانشگاه Stanford تاسیس شد و SUN مخفف عبارت “Stanford University Network” به معنی «شبکه‌ی دانشگاه استنفورد» است.

Yahoo: در کتابی که Jerry Yang و David Filo موسسین یاهو خوانده بودند (کتاب Gulliver’s Travels نوشته‌ی Jonathan Swift) انسان های عریان اولیه و زشت را «یاهو» معرفی کرده بود و موسسین یاهو نیز چون خود را همانند یاهو های یاد شده در آن کتاب می‌دانستند این اسم را انتخاب کردند.

AltaVista: در اسپانیایی به معنی «دید وسیع» است.

Intel: موسسین این شرکت Robert Noyce و Gordon Moore میخواستند اسم شرکتشان را “Moore Noyce” بگذارند ولی این اسم را یک هتل قبلآ ثبت کرده بود پس نام Intel را از اول دو کلمه‌ی “Integrated Electronics” (یعنی «تجهیزات الکترونیکی یکپارچه») برداشتند.

Nero Burning ROM: از جمله‌ی”Nero Burning Rome” گرفته شده است. زیرا پادشاهی به نام نرو روم را به آتش کشید.

AMD: مخفف “Advanced Micro Devices” یعنی «ریز تجهیزات پیشرفته».

AT&T: برگفته از عبارت “American Telephone And Telegraph”.

BBC: برگرفته از عبارت “British Broadcasting Corporation”.

BenQ: برگرفته از عبارت “‌Bringing ENjoyment and Quality to life” به معنی «آوردن شادی و کیفیت در زندگی».

CocaCola: برای طعم دادن به نوشیدنی های این شرکت از برگ‌هایی به نام coca و میوه‌ای به نام Kola استفاده می‌شود که موسس آن Kola را به Cola تغییر داد تا شکل نوشتاری نام شرکتش زیبا‌تر باشد.

Samsung: به معنی «۳ ستاره» در زبان کره‌ای.

Sony: از لغت لاتین “Sonus” به معنی صدا گرفته شده و”Sonny” یک اصطلاح خیابانی آمریکایی به معنی «جوان باهوش» است. شرکت سونی این کلمه را به “Sony” تغییر داد تا راحت تر و زیباتر تلفظ شود.

Nike: (بخوانید نایکی) خدای پیروزی یونانیان باستان.

Adidas: برگرفته از نام موسس آن Adolf(Adi) Dassler.

Daewoo: به معنی «جهان بی‌همتا» در زبان کره‌ای

منبع:rrp.blogfa

+ نوشته شده در  چهارشنبه هفدهم تیر 1388ساعت   توسط olinda | 


On August 7 , 2009
 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9
           Amaze your friends, be the first to tell them ...

        At 12hr 34 minutes and 56 seconds on the 7th of August
                 this year, the time and date will be

          
  12:34:56 07/08/09
  
  
This will never happen in your life again!!!!
+ نوشته شده در  شنبه سی ام خرداد 1388ساعت   توسط olinda | 
He vs she in Office
!How the company views its employees. (HE VS SHE)
تفاوت ارزیابی کارمندان آقا و خانم در یک شرکت!

1. The family picture is on HIS desk.

Ah, a solid, responsible family man.

آقا:عکس خانواده اش روی میزش است .
اوه ,مرد خانواده دوستی است.
The family picture is on HER desk.
Umm, her family will come before her career.
 
خانم:عکس خانواده اش روی میزش است.
اوم, خانواده اش براش مهم تر از کارش است.
2. HIS desk is cluttered.
He's obviously a hard worker and a busy man.
 
آقا:میزش بهم ریخته است .
او یقیننا مرد کاری و مشغولی است.
HER desk is cluttered.
She's obviously a disorganised scatterbrain
 
خانم:میزش بهم ریخته است .
او یقیننا با ذهن مخشوشش تشکیلات رو بهم زده است.
3. HE is talking with his co-workers.
He must be discussing the latest deal
 
آقا:با همکارانش صحبت می کند.
او حتما در مورد آخرین معامله بحث می کند.
SHE is talking with her co-workers.
She must be gossiping.
 
خانم:با همکارانش صحبت می کند.
او احتمالا شایعه پراکنی می کند.
4... HE's not at his desk.
He must be at a meeting.
 
آقا:سر میزش نیست .
او احتمالا به یک میتینگ رفته است.
SHE's not at her desk.
She must be in the ladies' room.
 
خانم:در سر میزش نیست .
او باید در اتاق خانمها باشد.
5. HE's not in the office..
He's meeting with customers.
 
آقا:در اداره نیست.
او با مشتری ها میتینگ دارد.
SHE's not in the office.
She must be out shopping.
 
خانم:در اداره نیست.
او بیرون و برای خرید رفته است.
6. HE's having lunch with the boss.
He's on his way up.
 
آقا:با رئیس صرف ناهار دارد.
او خودش را بالا می کشد.
SHE's having lunch with the boss.
They must be having an affair.
 
خانم:با رئیس صرف ناهار دارد.
او احتمالا با رئیس عشق بازی دارد.
7. The boss criticised HIM.
He'll prove his performance.
 
آقا:رئیس ازش انتقاد کرده است.
او شاهکارش را ثابت خواهد کرد.
The boss criticized HER.
She'll be very upset.
 
خانم:رئیس ازش انتقاد کرده است.
او خیلی دگرگون خواهد شد.
8. HE got an unfair deal.
?Did he get angry
 
آقا:یک معاملهء نا مناسب انجام داده است.
آیا او عصبانی است؟

SHE got an unfair deal.
Did she cry?
خانم:یک معاملهء نا مناسب انجام داده است .
آیا او گریه می کند؟
9. HE's getting married.
He'll get more settled.
 
آقا:ازدواج کرده است.
او جایگاهش را محکم تر خواهد کرد.
SHE's getting married.
She'll get pregnant and leave.
 
خانم:ازدواج کرده است .
او حامله شده و اداره را ترک خواهد کرد.
10. HE's having a baby.
He'll need a raise.
آقا:صاحب بچه شده است.
او به ارتقاء درجه نیاز خواهد داشت.
SHE's having a baby.
She'll cost the company money in maternity benefits.
 
خانم:صاحب بچه شده است.
او پول شرکت رو برای منافع مادری خرج خواهد کرد
 HE's going on a business trip.11
It's good for his career.
 
آقا:به یک سفر تجارتی خواهد رفت.
آن برای شغلش خوبست.
SHE's going on a business trip.
What does her husband say?
 
خانم:برای سفر تجارتی خواهد رفت.
شوهرش چی خواهد گفت؟!


12. HE's leaving for a better job.
He knows how to recognise a good opportunity.
 
آقا:شرکت را بخاطر یک شغل خوب ترک می کند.
او می دونه چطور فرصت خوب را تشخیص دهد.

 

SHE's leaving for a better job.
Women are not dependable
 
خانم:شرکت را بخاطر یک شغل خوب ترک می کند.
خانمها قابل اعتماد نیستند!
+ نوشته شده در  شنبه شانزدهم خرداد 1388ساعت   توسط olinda | 

A priest, a doctor, and an engineer were waiting one morning for a particularly slow group of golfers.

یک کشیش,یک پزشک ویک مهندس در صبح یک روز منتظر یک گروه ویزه آرامی از گلف بازها بودند.


Engineer: What's with these guys? We must have been waiting for 15 minutes!

مهندس:چه بلایی سر اینا اومد؟ ما باید 15 دقیقه منتظر اینا می شدیم.


Doctor: I don't know but I've never seen such ineptitude!

دکتر:من نمی دونم ولی من تا حالا چنین بی قاعدگی رو ندیده بودم.


Priest: Hey, here comes the greenskeeper. Let's have a word with him.

کشیش:مسئولشان دارد می آید بیایید باهاش صحبت کنیم.


Priest: Hi George. Say George, what's with that group ahead of us? They're rather slow aren't they?

سلام جورج بگو ببینم جورج برا این گروه مقابل ما چه اتفاقی افتاده است؟آنها ترجیح می دهند آرام باشند نه؟


George: Oh yes. That's a group of blind fire fighters. They lost their sight while saving our club house last year. So we let them play here anytime free of charge!
جورج:اوه,بلی

آنها یه گروه از نابینایان مامور آتشنشانی هستند که بیناییشان را موقع نجات دادن خانه کلوبمان در سال گذشته از دست دادند

بنابراین اجازه بدیم آنها اینجا هر زمان و بدون هزینه بازی کنند.
(silence)

سکوت
Priest: That's so sad. I think I will say a special prayer for them tonight.

کشیش:خیلی ناراحت کننده بود من امشب یک دعای مخصوص برایشان خواهم خواند.


Doctor: Good idea. And I'm going to contact my ophthalmologist buddy and see if there's anything he can do for them.

پزشک:و من با گروه چشم پزشکی تماس می گیرم اگر کاری از دستشان بیاید برایشان انجام بدهند.

Engineer: Why can't these guys play at night?

مهندس:چرا اینها در شب بازی نکنند؟!


+ نوشته شده در  سه شنبه بیست و نهم اردیبهشت 1388ساعت   توسط olinda | 

ترک مشروب

Giving Up Wine


I was walking down the street when I was accosted by a particularly dirty and shabby-looking homeless woman who asked me for a couple of dollars for dinner.

در حال قدم زدن در خیابان بودم که با خانمی نسبتا کثیف و کهنه پوشی که شبیه زنان بی خانه بود روبرو شدم که از من 2 دلار برای تهیه شام درخواست کرد.

I took out my wallet, got out ten dollars and asked, 'If I give you this money, will you buy wine with it instead of dinner?'

من کیف پولم را در آوردم و 10 دلار برداشتم و ازش پرسیدم اگر من این پول را بهت بدم تو مشروب بجای شام می خری؟!

'No, I had to stop drinking years ago' , the homeless woman told me.

نه,من نوشیدن مشروب را سالها پیش ترک کردم,ز ن بی خانه به من گفت.

'Will you use it to go shopping instead of buying food?' I

asked.

ازش پرسیدم آیا از این پول برای خرید بجای غذا استفاده می کنی؟

'No, I don't waste time shopping,' the homeless woman said. 'I need to spend all my time trying to stay alive.'

زن بی خانه گفت:نه, من وقتم را برای خرید صرف نمی کنم من همه وقتم را تلاش برای زنده ماندن نیاز دارم.

'Will you spend this on a beauty salon instead of food?' I asked.

من پرسیدم :آیا تو این پول را بجای غذا برای سالن زیبایی صرف می کنی؟

'Are you NUTS!' replied the homeless woman. I haven't had my hair done in 20 years!'

 تو خلی!زن بی خانه جواب داد.من موهایم را طی 20 سال شانه نکردم!

'Well, I said, 'I'm not going to give you the money. Instead, I'm going to take you out for dinner with my husband and

me tonight.'

 گفتم , خوب ,من این پول را بهت نمیدم در عوض تو رو به خانه ام برای صرف شام با من و همسرم می برم.

The homeless Woman was shocked. 'Won't your husband be furious with you for doing that? I know I'm dirty, and I probably smell pretty disgusting.'

زن بی خانه شوکه شد .همسرت برای این کارت خشمگین نمی شود؟من می دانم من کثیفم و احتمالا یک کمی  هم بوی منزجر کننده دارم.

I said, 'That's okay. It's important for him to see what a woman looks like after she has given up shopping, hair appointments, and wine.'  

گفتم:آن درست است . برای او مهم است دیدن زنی شبیه خودش بعد اینکه خرید و شانه کردن مو و مشروب را ترک کرده است!

پی نوشت :خانمهای نازنین اصلا به دلشون نگیرند که این مطلب هر چند جوک ولی در مورد خانمهای خارجکی !هست و اتفاقا آقایون باید با خوندن این مطالب قدر خانمهای ایرانی رو بیشتر بدونند!
+ نوشته شده در  جمعه بیست و پنجم اردیبهشت 1388ساعت   توسط olinda | 


10ethical ways to treat on ethics.



   1. the golden rule: Would i want people to do this to me?

1.قانون طلايي:آيا واقعا من از مردم مي خوام چنين كاري رو با من بكنن؟

   2. the fairness test: Who might be affected and how? Is this fair to everyone?

2.تست ترس:كي ممكن هست تحت تاثير قرار بگيره و چگونه؟آيا واسه همه منصفانه هست؟



ادامه مطلب
+ نوشته شده در  سه شنبه بیست و پنجم فروردین 1388ساعت   توسط olinda | 

 
 
 
 

ادامه مطلب
+ نوشته شده در  جمعه بیست و یکم فروردین 1388ساعت   توسط olinda | 

An older, white haired man walked into a jewelry store one Friday evening with a beautiful young girl at his side.

 در عصر جمعه یک روز پیر مردی با یک دختر  زیبا وجوانی در کنارش وارد یک طلا فروشی شدند.



ادامه مطلب
+ نوشته شده در  پنجشنبه دوازدهم دی 1387ساعت   توسط olinda | 

NOW YOUR IMEI NUMBER..

Would like to know your mobile is original or not !!!

آیا می خواهید بدانید  موبایلتون اصل یا قلابی؟!!

Type # 6 0 # *
کد*# 6 0 #را تایپ کنید:

After you enter the code you will see a new code contain 15 digits:
43 4 5 6 610 67 8 9 4 3 5
بعد از وارد کردن کد یک شمارهء دیجیتالی 15 رقمی خواهید دید .43 4 5 6 610 67 8 9 4 3 5


ادامه مطلب
+ نوشته شده در  دوشنبه دوم دی 1387ساعت   توسط olinda | 

دوستان عزیز سلام و وقت بخیر

چون این متن رو از اسلاید برداشتم لذا متن انگلیسی کپی -پیست نشد لذا فقط به متن ترجمه شده اکتفا کردم تا متن طولانی تر از این هم نشود.


روزی وقتی همه کارمندان به اداره رسیدند روی در علامت " توجه" بزرگی دیدند با این مضمون:

شخصی که در این شرکت مانع پیشرفت شما بود فوت کرده است!!

شما رو برای شرکت در تشییع جنازه به اتاقی که مقدمات دفن صورت می گیرد دعوت می کنیم.

دراولین لحظه همه ء آنها برای فوت یکی از جمعشان غمگین و ناراحت شدند.

اما بعدا کنجکاو شدند که چه کسی باعث عدم پیشرفت شرکت و جمعشان شده است!؟


ادامه مطلب
+ نوشته شده در  جمعه بیست و دوم آذر 1387ساعت   توسط olinda | 


> Answer the phone by LEFTear
> برای صحبت با موبایل از گوش چپ
> استفاده کنید.
>
>
>
> Do not drink coffee TWICEa day
> روزانه بیش از دو فنجان قهوه
> ننوشید.
>
 
ادامه مطلب
+ نوشته شده در  چهارشنبه ششم آذر 1387ساعت   توسط olinda | 

A store that sells husbands has just opened in New York City, where a woman may go to choose a husband.
یک فروشگاهی که شوهر می فروشد تنها در نیویورک باز شده جائیکه یک زن ممکن برای انتخاب یک شوهر آنجا برود.


Among the instructions at the entrance is a description of how the store operates. You may visit the store ONLY ONCE!
مابین دستورالعمل ها در وروی یک توضیحی در مورد عملکرد فروشگاه وجود دارد.(شما ممکن فروشگاه را فقط یک بار ویزیت کنید)

There are six floors and the attributes of the men increase as the shopper ascends the flights.

6 طبقه موجود است با ویزگیهای مردان که هر چه خریدار بالا می رود ویزگیها افزایش می یابد.

There is, however, a catch. ... You may choose any man from a particular floor, or you may choose to go up a floor, but you cannot go back down except to exit the building!


اما یه شرطی است:شما ممکن مردی را از یک طبقه ویزه انتخاب کنید یا ممکن شما رفتن به طبقه بالاتر رو انتخاب کنیداما شما نمی توانید به طبقه پایین تر بر گردید مگر برای خروج از ساختمان .

So, a woman goes to the Husband Store to find a husband. .
بنابر این خانمی که برای پیدا کردن شوهر به فروشگاه شوهر می رود .

On the first floor the sign on the door reads:

در اولین طبقه در ورودی در می خواند...
 

بقیهء متن در "ادامهء مطلب"

ادامه مطلب
+ نوشته شده در  پنجشنبه ششم تیر 1387ساعت   توسط olinda | 
 
خانه
ایمیل
آرشیو
درباره وبلاگ
lida.karimzadeh.9@facebook.com

پیوندهای روزانه!
نبینی باختی!
زایمان فیزیولوزیک و آسان
...
نوشته های پیشین
اسفند 1392
دی 1392
شهریور 1392
دی 1391
آبان 1391
مهر 1391
شهریور 1391
مرداد 1391
دی 1390
آذر 1390
مهر 1390
شهریور 1390
تیر 1390
خرداد 1390
خرداد 1389
اردیبهشت 1389
فروردین 1389
اسفند 1388
بهمن 1388
دی 1388
آذر 1388
آبان 1388
مهر 1388
شهریور 1388
مرداد 1388
تیر 1388
خرداد 1388
اردیبهشت 1388
فروردین 1388
اسفند 1387
بهمن 1387
دی 1387
آذر 1387
آبان 1387
مهر 1387
شهریور 1387
آرشيو
آرشیو موضوعی
قطعات و متنهای عاشقانه
Did you know?
اصطلاحات کوتاه و مهم در انگلیسی
ضرب المثل ها و اصطلاحات انگلیسی
لغات مشابه در انگلیسی
لغات گروه بندی شده
sms های انگلیسی
بروزترین متون انگلیسی
داستانهای حکمت آمیز
شعر انگلیسی-فاسی
آهنگ های خارجی و ایرانی
جوک انگلیسی-فارسی
جملات زیبا و بامفهوم
سخنان بزرگان و دانشمندان
جملات آموزنده
زنگ تفریح و تفکر!
متفرقه
مطالب علمی-پزشکی
شگفت انگیز ها یا معجزه ها!!
انگلستان!
My privacy
دهکده آموزش زبان
ادبیات فارسی و انگلیسی
مطالب علمی انگلیسی
دنیای ضرب المثل های انگلیسی
کتاب های آموزش زبان انگلیسی
Englishcenter
Talk&Tea
Birdscan
زبان جم
آموزش زبان انگلیسی و اصول ترجمه
گرو آموزشی زبان راهنمایی
Learning Eng in Diffrent way
آموزش زبان انگلیسی
Translator20
Lovely city
Eng as a second language
آموزش الکترونیک زبان انگلیسی
Lets think toghether
Let,s think through Eng
lovely English
سایت انگلیسی سامی یوسف
دانلود کتابهای آیلتس و تافل
دهکده زبان
Night phoenix..............
Hope &Opportunity
تا با تو بودن
دیکشنری آنلاین
sahar
آموزشگاه زبان اینترنتی
کلماتی برای شادی
آموزش زبان انگلیسی
Learning English
آموزش زبان ایتالیایی شایان
کلاس آموزش زبان
موسسهء تدریس خصوصی زبان -مهر اصفهان
 

 RSS

POWERED BY
BLOGFA.COM