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مطالب انگلیسی_فارسی
آموزش زبان انگلیسی-مطالب علمی-داستانها-شعرها-آهنگها-smsها-جوک-ضرب المثلها و بروزترین متون انگلیسی

 Apparently, true examples of a selection of answers to the given questions!

 

UNIVERSITY CHALLENGE (BBC2)

Jeremy Paxman:

What is another name for 'cherry pickers' and 'cheesemongers'?

Contestant:

Homosexuals.

Jeremy Paxman:

No. They're regiments in the British Army who will be very upset with you

 


BEG, BORROW OR STEAL (BBC2)

Jamie Theakston:

Where do you think  Cambridge  University is?

Contestant:

Geography isn't my strong point.

Jamie Theakston:

There's a clue in the title.

Contestant:

Leicester

 


BBC NORFOLK

Stewart White:

Who had a worldwide hit with What A Wonderful World?

Contestant:

I don't know.

Stewart White:

I'll give you some clues: what do you call the part between your hand and your elbow?

Contestant:

Arm

Stewart White:

Correct. And if you're not weak, you're...?

Contestant:

Strong..

Stewart White:

Correct - and what was Lord Mountbatten's first name?

Contestant:

Louis

Stewart White:

Well, there we are then.. So who had a worldwide hit with the song What A Wonderful World?

Contestant:

Frank Sinatra?

 

LATE SHOW (BBC  MIDLANDS)

Alex Trelinski:

What is the capital of Italy ?

Contestant:

France.

Trelinski:

France is another country. Try again.

Contestant:

Oh, um, Benidorm.

Trelinski:

Wrong, sorry, let's try another question. In which country is the Parthenon?

Contestant:

Sorry, I don't know.

Trelinski:

Just guess a country then.

Contestant:

Paris.


 

THE WEAKEST LINK (BBC2)

Anne Robinson:

Oscar Wilde, Adolf Hitler and Jeffrey Archer have all written books about their experiences in what: - Prison, or the Conservative Party?

Contestant:

The Conservative Party.

 

BEACON RADIO ( WOLVERHAMPTON )

DJ Mark:

For 10, what is the nationality of the Pope?

Ruth from Rowley Regis:

I think I know that one. Is it Jewish?


 

UNIVERSITY CHALLENGE

Bamber Gascoyne:

What was Gandhi's first name?

Contestant:

Goosey?

 

GWR FM ( Bristol )

Presenter:

What happened in Dallas on November 22, 1963?

Contestant:

I don't know, I wasn't watching it then.


 

PHIL WOOD SHOW (BBC RADIO?  MANCHESTER)

Phil:

What's 11 squared?

Contestant:

I don't know.

Phil:

I'll give you a clue. It's two ones with a two in the middle.

Contestant:

Is it five?

 

RICHARD AND JUDY

Richard:

Which American actor is married to Nicole Kidman?

Contestant:

Forrest Gump.


 

RICHARD AND JUDY

Richard:

On which street did Sherlock Holmes live?

Contestant:

Er. ... ..

Richard:

He makes bread . . .

Contestant:

Er .. .....

Richard:

He makes cakes . . .

Contestant:

Kipling Street?


 

LINCS FM PHONE-IN

Presenter:

Which is the largest Spanish-speaking country in the world?

Contestant:

Barcelona.

Presenter:

I was really after the name of a country.

Contestant:

I'm sorry, I don't know the names of any countries in Spain .



 

NATIONAL LOTTERY (BBC1)

Question:

What is the world's largest continent?

Contestant:

The Pacific.



 

ROCK FM ( PRESTON )

Presenter:

Name a film starring Bob Hoskins that is also the name of a famous painting by Leonardo da Vinci.

Contestant:

Who Framed Roger Rabbit?



 

THE BIGGEST GAME IN TOWN (ITV)

Steve Le Fevre:

What was signed, to bring World War I to an end in 1918?

Contestant:

Magna Carta?



 

JAMES O'BRIEN SHOW (LBC)

James O'Brien:

How many kings of England have been called Henry?

Contestant:

Er, well, I know there was a Henry the Eighth ... ER. ER ... Three?



 


CHRIS SEARLE SHOW (BBC RADIO BRISTOL )

Chris Searle:

In which European country is Mount Etna ?

Caller:

Japan.

Chris Searle:

I did say which European country, so in case you didn't hear that, I can let you try again.

Caller:

Er ........ Mexico ?



 

PAUL WAPPAT (BBC RADIO NEWCASTLE )

Paul Wappat:

How long did the Six-Day War between Egypt and Israel last?

Contestant (long pause):

Fourteen days.



 

DARYL DENHAM'S DRIVETIME (VIRGIN RADIO)

Daryl Denham:

In which country would you spend shekels?

Contestant:

Holland?

Daryl Denham:

Try the next letter of the alphabet.

Contestant:

Iceland? Ireland ?

Daryl Denham: (helpfully)

It's a bad line. Did you say Israel ?

Contestant:

No.



 

PHIL WOOD SHOW (BBC GMR)

Phil Wood:

What 'K' could be described as the Islamic Bible?

Contestant:

Er... .... ..

Phil Wood:

It's got two syllables . . . Kor . .

Contestant:

Blimey?

Phil Wood:

Ha ha ha ha, no. The past participle of run . . .

Contestant:

(Silence)

Phil Wood:

OK, try it another way. Today I run, yesterday I . . .

Contestant:

Walked?



 

THE VAULT

Melanie Sykes:

What is the name given to the condition where the sufferer can fall asleep at any time?

Contestant:

Nostalgia.



 

LUNCHTIME SHOW (BRMB)

Presenter:

What religion was Guy Fawkes?

Contestant:

Jewish.

Presenter:

That's close enough.



 

STEVE WRIGHT IN THE AFTERNOON (BBC RADIO 2)

Wright:

Johnny Weissmuller died on this day. Which jungle-swinging character clad only in a loin cloth did he play?

Contestant:

Jesus.

 

+ نوشته شده در  شنبه سی ام آبان 1388ساعت   توسط olinda | 

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+ نوشته شده در  دوشنبه بیست و پنجم آبان 1388ساعت   توسط olinda | 

زنگ تفریح و تفکر !.........21


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ادامه مطلب
+ نوشته شده در  یکشنبه هفدهم آبان 1388ساعت   توسط olinda | 

جوک انگلیسی-فارسی.............7

An older, white haired man walked into a jewelry store one Friday evening with a beautiful young girl at his side.

 در عصر جمعه یک روز پیر مردی با یک دختر  زیبا وجوانی در کنارش وارد یک طلا فروشی شدند.

He told the jeweler He was looking for a special ring for his
 girlfriend, پیر مرد به طلا فروش گفت :یک حلقهء مخصوص برای دوست دخترش می خواهد.

the jeweler looked through his stock and brought a

 stunning ring at $40,000!طلافروش موجودیهایش را گشت و یک حلقهء سنگی 40,000! دلاری آورد.

The young lady's eyes sparkled and her whole body trembled with

 excitement;دختر جوان از هیجان چشمانش برق زد و تمام بدنش لرزید.

the old man seeing this said, 'We'll take it.'

! پیر مرد حالت های او را دید و گفت ما آنرا خواهیم گرفت.


The jeweler asked how payment would be made and the old man said:طلا فروش پرسید مبلغش را چه جوری پرداخت می کنید!؟

'By

 check, I know you need to make sure my check is good, so I'll write It now and you can call the bank Monday to verify the funds and I'll pick up the ring Monday afternoon.پیر مرد گفت : با چک ,من می دونم تو دوست داری از درست بودن چک من اطمینان حاصل کنی.

خیلی خوب من آنرا الان خواهم نوشت و شما می تونید روز دوشنبه به بانک زنگ بزنید و از صحت موجودی اطمینان حاصل کنید ومن حلقه رو در  عصر روز دوشنبه تحویل خواهم گرفت.

 Monday morning, a very upset jeweler phoned the old man and said:صبح روز دوشنبه طلافروش با عصبانیت شدید به پیر مرد زنگ زد و گفت :

 
'There's no money in that account.'در حساب شما هیچ موجودی وجود ندارد!.


 'I know', said the old man, 'but can you imagine the weekend I had?'پیر مرد جواب داد من می دونم اما تو می

تونی تصور کنی من چه جمعه ای داشتم!!؟


+ نوشته شده در  پنجشنبه چهاردهم آبان 1388ساعت   توسط olinda | 

من که نتونستم از چپ براست  پیست کنم اقلا شما از راست به چپ بخوانید!

 88 + 88+ 58 + 98 + 38 + 48 + 78 + 78 = 88593477

+ نوشته شده در  یکشنبه دهم آبان 1388ساعت   توسط olinda | 

Give laugh to all,but smile to one*

Give cheeks to all,but lips to one*

Give love to all, but heart to one *

Let everybody love you,BUT YOU LOVE ONE!*

Cheek:گونه

+ نوشته شده در  شنبه نهم آبان 1388ساعت   توسط olinda | 


Once upon a time in China , a girl named Li-Li got married & went to live
with her husband and mother-in-law.
In a very short time, Li-Li found that she couldn't get along with her mother-in-law at all. Their personalities were very different, and Li-Li was angered by many of her mother-in-law's habits. In addition, she criticized Li-Li constantly.
Days passed, and weeks passed. Li-Li and her mother-in-law never stopped arguing and fighting. But what made the situation even worse was that,
according to ancient Chinese tradition, Li-Li had to bow to her mother-in-law and obey her every wish. All the anger and unhappiness in the house was causing Li-Li's poor husband great distress.

Finally, Li-Li could not stand her mother-in-law's bad temper and dictatorship any longer, and she decided to do something about it. Li-Li went to see her father's good friend, Mr. Huang,             
who sold herbs. She told him the situation and asked if he would give her some poison so that she could solve the problem once and for all.

Mr. Huang thought for awhile, and finally said, "Li-iL, I will help you solve your problem, but you must listen to me and obey what I tell you."

Li-Li said,"Yes, Mr. Huang, I will do whatever you tell me to do. "Mr. Huang went into the back room, and returned in a few minutes with a package of herbs. He told Li-Li, "You can't use a quick-acting poison to get rid of your mother-in-law, because that would cause people to become suspicious. Therefore, I have given you a number of herbs that will slowly build up poison in her body. Every other day prepare some delicious meal and put a little of these herbs in her serving. Now, in order to make sure that nobody suspect you, when she dies, you must be very careful to act very friendly towards her. "Don't argue with her, obey her every wish, and treat her like a queen." Li-Li was so happy. She thanked Mr. Huang and hurried home to start her plot of murdering her mother-in-law.
Weeks went by, and months went by, and every other day, Li-Li served the specially treated food to her mother-in-law. She remembered what Mr. Huang had said about avoiding suspicion, so she controlled her temper, obeyed her mother-in-law, and treated her like her own mother.

After six months had passed, the whole household had changed. Li-Li had practiced controlling her temper so much that she found that she almost
never got mad or upset. She hadn't had an argument with her mother-in-law in six months because she now seemed much kinder and easier to get along with.

The mother-in-law's attitude toward Li-Li changed, and she began to love Li-Li like her own daughter. She kept telling friends and relatives that Li-Li was the best daughter-in-law one could ever find. Li-Li and her mother-in-law were now treating each other like a real mother and daughter. Li-Li's husband was very happy to see what was happening.
One day, Li-Li came to see Mr. Huang and asked for his help again She said, "Dear Mr. Huang, please help me to keep off the poison from killing my mother-in-law. She's changed into such a nice woman, and I love her like my own mother. I do not want her to die because of the poison I gave her."

Mr. Huang smiled and nodded his head. "Li-Li, there's nothing to worry about. I never gave you any poison. The herbs I gave you were vitamins to
improve her health. The only poison was in your mind and your attitude toward her, but that has been all washed away by the love which you gave to her."

HAVE YOU REALIZED that how you treat others is exactly how they will treat you? There is a wise Chinese saying: "The person who loves others will also be loved in return." God might be trying to work in another person's life through you.
 
+ نوشته شده در  دوشنبه چهارم آبان 1388ساعت   توسط olinda | 
 
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پیوندهای روزانه!
نبینی باختی!
زایمان فیزیولوزیک و آسان
...
نوشته های پیشین
اسفند 1392
دی 1392
شهریور 1392
دی 1391
آبان 1391
مهر 1391
شهریور 1391
مرداد 1391
دی 1390
آذر 1390
مهر 1390
شهریور 1390
تیر 1390
خرداد 1390
خرداد 1389
اردیبهشت 1389
فروردین 1389
اسفند 1388
بهمن 1388
دی 1388
آذر 1388
آبان 1388
مهر 1388
شهریور 1388
مرداد 1388
تیر 1388
خرداد 1388
اردیبهشت 1388
فروردین 1388
اسفند 1387
بهمن 1387
دی 1387
آذر 1387
آبان 1387
مهر 1387
شهریور 1387
آرشيو
آرشیو موضوعی
قطعات و متنهای عاشقانه
Did you know?
اصطلاحات کوتاه و مهم در انگلیسی
ضرب المثل ها و اصطلاحات انگلیسی
لغات مشابه در انگلیسی
لغات گروه بندی شده
sms های انگلیسی
بروزترین متون انگلیسی
داستانهای حکمت آمیز
شعر انگلیسی-فاسی
آهنگ های خارجی و ایرانی
جوک انگلیسی-فارسی
جملات زیبا و بامفهوم
سخنان بزرگان و دانشمندان
جملات آموزنده
زنگ تفریح و تفکر!
متفرقه
مطالب علمی-پزشکی
شگفت انگیز ها یا معجزه ها!!
انگلستان!
My privacy
دهکده آموزش زبان
ادبیات فارسی و انگلیسی
مطالب علمی انگلیسی
دنیای ضرب المثل های انگلیسی
کتاب های آموزش زبان انگلیسی
Englishcenter
Talk&Tea
Birdscan
زبان جم
آموزش زبان انگلیسی و اصول ترجمه
گرو آموزشی زبان راهنمایی
Learning Eng in Diffrent way
آموزش زبان انگلیسی
Translator20
Lovely city
Eng as a second language
آموزش الکترونیک زبان انگلیسی
Lets think toghether
Let,s think through Eng
lovely English
سایت انگلیسی سامی یوسف
دانلود کتابهای آیلتس و تافل
دهکده زبان
Night phoenix..............
Hope &Opportunity
تا با تو بودن
دیکشنری آنلاین
sahar
آموزشگاه زبان اینترنتی
کلماتی برای شادی
آموزش زبان انگلیسی
Learning English
آموزش زبان ایتالیایی شایان
کلاس آموزش زبان
موسسهء تدریس خصوصی زبان -مهر اصفهان
 

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